Post by Craig Lassiter on Jul 19, 2007 10:13:54 GMT -5
--From the casefiles of Dr. Lemuel Keane--
--Waterford Hospital, St. John's, NL--
--Date: 14/11/2006--
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Patient: John Doe
AKA: "Tony"
DoB: Unknown
Height: 180 cm
Weight: 110 kg
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Initial Diagnosis: Patient has serious anger issues. Often lashes out with violent outbursts over the smallest thing. Very negative. Got into a fight with orderly over which of the Seven Dwarves was the toughest. Unable to accept criticism or praise. Antisocial. Often speaks at inappropriate times, and with crude and profane language. Eg, called my mother a 'cum dumpster'.
Seems obsessed with cartoons, pop culture, music, films, and television. At the same time, claims ignorance over said obsessions, claming them to be 'for fruits and retards'.
Initial Prognosis: Limited expectations for patient's recovery. Is unwilling to compromise and has little or no respect for hospital staff. Although not suicidal, patient thinks nothing of personal injury and has to be constantly supervised. Will personally continue therapy, but patient will most likely have to be handed back to the RCMP for detainment.
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Physical Exam: X-rays show 14 incorrectly set or re-broken bones. Numerous poorly healed muscle and ligament tears. Numerous scars on most of body, many located on the head. Possible head trauma in patient's past. Initial cat scan result: negative. Frostbite on several toes and personal grooming upon admission indicate patient has been living without residence for some time.
Chemical Dependencies: After admission, patient immediately began demanding alcohol. Went through a two week period of physical withdrawal. Since shows few signs of physical addiction, but still demands alcohol.
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Transcript of therapy session #16
Dr. Lemuel Keane: How are you feeling today, Tony?
Tony: Eat me.
LK: I understand that you don't like our food here, Tony.
T: If I wasn't in this straitjacket, I'd ram that lamp down your throat.
LK: That's very aggressive talk, Tony. Is there anything I can do to make your stay here more comfortable?
T: Yeah, you can <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: I see. How did you get that black eye?
T: That <EXPLETIVE DELETED> guard hit me because he's a <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: According to the report, you called him a <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, then threatened to have relations with his mother.
T: And his sister.
LK: And his sister, yes. Did he do anything to provoke you, Tony?
T: Yeah, he rolled his <EXPLETIVE DELETED> eyes at me when I was talking about how Corporal Kirshner was the most underated wrestler of all time.
LK: I see.
T: So I <EXPLETIVE DELETED> headbutted him, see. Then, he goes and hits me. <EXPLETIVE DELETED> When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue this place so hard I'll be doing the Scrooge McDuck breaststroke through your hard-earned cash.
LK: Don't you see that there's a better way to solve problems than with violence, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: Ok, let's talk about something else. Do you have any family, Tony?
T: No. They all burned up and died in a plane crash.
LK: They were all on the same plane?
T: No, my parents were on one plane, and my wife and kids were on another plane. They collided in mid-air and landed on a third plane sitting on the runway. My sister was a stewardess on that one.
LK: Is that the truth, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: What about friends? Do you have any friends?
T: I got tons of friends. Me and Shaq go surfing every third Wednesday. I'd invite you, but Shaq hates <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: What about a girlfriend?
T: Why would I want a leech hanging off my <EXPLETIVE DELETED> siphoning my money?
LK: Is that how you see women, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, all of em. I can just barely stand the ones who are at least honest enough to charge money up front instead of taxing you by getting you to buy <EXPLETIVE DELETED> you don't need, like flowers and <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: Let's talk about your mother.
T: Let me tell you about my mother. <SHOUTED> BANG. <PATIENT LAUGHS>
LK: Why do you find that amusing, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, are you stupid? It's from Blade Runner, <EXPLETIVE DELETED> You don't know <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, you do? I expect you'll start asking me about turtles next.
LK: Do you like movies, Tony?
T: No, they're all <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
--Waterford Hospital, St. John's, NL--
--Date: 14/11/2006--
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Patient: John Doe
AKA: "Tony"
DoB: Unknown
Height: 180 cm
Weight: 110 kg
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Initial Diagnosis: Patient has serious anger issues. Often lashes out with violent outbursts over the smallest thing. Very negative. Got into a fight with orderly over which of the Seven Dwarves was the toughest. Unable to accept criticism or praise. Antisocial. Often speaks at inappropriate times, and with crude and profane language. Eg, called my mother a 'cum dumpster'.
Seems obsessed with cartoons, pop culture, music, films, and television. At the same time, claims ignorance over said obsessions, claming them to be 'for fruits and retards'.
Initial Prognosis: Limited expectations for patient's recovery. Is unwilling to compromise and has little or no respect for hospital staff. Although not suicidal, patient thinks nothing of personal injury and has to be constantly supervised. Will personally continue therapy, but patient will most likely have to be handed back to the RCMP for detainment.
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Physical Exam: X-rays show 14 incorrectly set or re-broken bones. Numerous poorly healed muscle and ligament tears. Numerous scars on most of body, many located on the head. Possible head trauma in patient's past. Initial cat scan result: negative. Frostbite on several toes and personal grooming upon admission indicate patient has been living without residence for some time.
Chemical Dependencies: After admission, patient immediately began demanding alcohol. Went through a two week period of physical withdrawal. Since shows few signs of physical addiction, but still demands alcohol.
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Transcript of therapy session #16
Dr. Lemuel Keane: How are you feeling today, Tony?
Tony: Eat me.
LK: I understand that you don't like our food here, Tony.
T: If I wasn't in this straitjacket, I'd ram that lamp down your throat.
LK: That's very aggressive talk, Tony. Is there anything I can do to make your stay here more comfortable?
T: Yeah, you can <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: I see. How did you get that black eye?
T: That <EXPLETIVE DELETED> guard hit me because he's a <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: According to the report, you called him a <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, then threatened to have relations with his mother.
T: And his sister.
LK: And his sister, yes. Did he do anything to provoke you, Tony?
T: Yeah, he rolled his <EXPLETIVE DELETED> eyes at me when I was talking about how Corporal Kirshner was the most underated wrestler of all time.
LK: I see.
T: So I <EXPLETIVE DELETED> headbutted him, see. Then, he goes and hits me. <EXPLETIVE DELETED> When I get out of here, I'm gonna sue this place so hard I'll be doing the Scrooge McDuck breaststroke through your hard-earned cash.
LK: Don't you see that there's a better way to solve problems than with violence, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: Ok, let's talk about something else. Do you have any family, Tony?
T: No. They all burned up and died in a plane crash.
LK: They were all on the same plane?
T: No, my parents were on one plane, and my wife and kids were on another plane. They collided in mid-air and landed on a third plane sitting on the runway. My sister was a stewardess on that one.
LK: Is that the truth, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: What about friends? Do you have any friends?
T: I got tons of friends. Me and Shaq go surfing every third Wednesday. I'd invite you, but Shaq hates <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: What about a girlfriend?
T: Why would I want a leech hanging off my <EXPLETIVE DELETED> siphoning my money?
LK: Is that how you see women, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, all of em. I can just barely stand the ones who are at least honest enough to charge money up front instead of taxing you by getting you to buy <EXPLETIVE DELETED> you don't need, like flowers and <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
LK: Let's talk about your mother.
T: Let me tell you about my mother. <SHOUTED> BANG. <PATIENT LAUGHS>
LK: Why do you find that amusing, Tony?
T: <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, are you stupid? It's from Blade Runner, <EXPLETIVE DELETED> You don't know <EXPLETIVE DELETED>, you do? I expect you'll start asking me about turtles next.
LK: Do you like movies, Tony?
T: No, they're all <EXPLETIVE DELETED>
-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-