Post by Hoser on Aug 7, 2007 21:24:37 GMT -5
The ice hit the glass with a sharp "clink", bouncing off the sides of the small hollow cylinder before coming to rest on the bottom. A stream of amber liquid rushed into the glass, splashing over the cubes of frozen water. A low cracking sound echoed from the glass as the warmth of the liquor assaulted the cold surface of the ice cubes. The fluid level rose almost to the top before the stream stopped. Hoser picked up the glass and looked at the rippling surface for a moment before taking a drink.
"What is this on my head eh?" asked The Canadian Icon as his hand probed the bandage wrapped around his forehead.
"That's a bandage honey. Don't you remember? That little crack head beat you with a camera earlier tonight." said Sam as she lit a cigarette and passed it to Hoser.
"Oh yeah! I remember... Beany hit me with that camera after I beat Nathan... I did win the match right?" said Hoser as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"Yeah, you won. But it's all part of the show right? I mean, wrestling is fake... isn't it?" asked Sam as she lit her own cigarette.
"No, you got wrestling confused with boxing eh. And I think that UFC stuff is fake too." said Hoser as he finished his drink.
The empty glass made a hollow "thud" as Hoser slammed it down on the table and reached for the bottle of Jack Daniel's. He looked at the bottle as a child would eye a bag of candy. A smile crept across his face as he removed the cap from the bottle. He closed his eyes for a moment as he passed the bottle under his nose, savoring the smell of the alcohol. He poured himself another drink and put the cap back on the bottle.
Sam spit a mouthful of her drink across the floor "You mean that was real?! Jesus Christ! You could have been killed! Why would you get involved in that?!"
"Get involved in what eh?" asked Hoser as he reached up to scratch his head.
"Take off eh! I got a bandage on my head! Where did that come from!?" yelled Hoser as he realized again that his head was wrapped in a large white bandage.
"Do you have brain damage or something? The paramedics wrapped your head in a bandage to stop the bleeding after that little guy hit you with his camera." said Sam as she rolled her eyes at Hoser.
"You mean Burny? That little prick that's always sticking out of Nathan Benjamin's ass? Why would he hit me with a camera eh?" asked Hoser, having completely forgotten what he was told 5 seconds ago.
"Because you beat Nathan, and they are obviously sore losers! Jesus! What's wrong with you? Don't you remember anything?" asked Sam, her voice betraying the fact that she was beginning to worry about Hoser's loss of memory.
Hoser looked at the ceiling for a minute, his mouth hanging open, as if he was waiting for the tiles to tell him the answer to Sam's question. He looked at Sam, his eyes wide, as if he had remembered something important. He started to say "yes", but stopped mid word to look at the corner of the room.
"No." said Hoser as he hung his head in defeat. "I need another drink."
The Canadian Icon put down his glass and reached for the bottle of Jack. He was just about to pour himself another drink when he realized his glass was still full. He looked around for a moment, trying to find another glass. Unable to find one, he shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from the bottle. Sam shook her head in disbelief. She really didn't know if he had suffered brain damage or if he was just really drunk.
"I think you should go to the hospital and get checked out. You took a couple hard shots to the head tonight." said Sam as she put her drink down on the table.
"I gotta take a leak eh." said Hoser as he stood up from the table and walked across the small hotel room toward the bathroom.
"You don't have to tell me every time Hoser. That's kind of rude actually. You could just excuse yourself for a moment." said Sam as she wrinkled her nose at the thought of someone urinating.
"Sorry eh. Excuse me for a moment, I have to shake hands with an old friend of mine, who I would like to introduce you to after the show tonight eh." said Hoser as he entered the bathroom.
"The show was over hours ago! I think you've had enough to drink, this is getting ridiculous, I'm cutting you off for tonight!" yelled Sam as she took the bottle of Jack from the table and stashed it in the small night table next to the bed.
"What do you mean the show is over?!" yelled Hoser as he finished up in the bathroom and began to wash his hands.
"Holy shit! Take off eh!" yelled The Canadian Icon as he looked in the mirror over the sink.
"I got a bandage on my head eh!" said Hoser as he ran from the bathroom, his eyes wide, and water dripping from his hands.
Sam just shook her head and looked at Hoser with a frown. She was getting tired of reminding him why his head was bandaged.
"I can't wrestle tonight with a bandage on my head eh!" said Hoser as he reached into the mini bar and grabbed a cold beer.
"I can't believe you are the president of a wrestling promotion. God! I told you, the match is over, you won, and you have a bandage on your head because you were beaten with a camera after the match! Fuck!" yelled Sam.
"Who beat me with a camera eh?" asked Hoser as he took a drink of his beer.
"That little weirdo who follows Nathan around all the time! Now go to bed for fuck sakes! Maybe you'll remember in the morning when you're sober." said Sam as she lit another cigarette.
"You mean Barney attacked me after the match? That sneaky little bastard! I'm gonna stick that camera up his ass!" yelled Hoser as he looked to the corner of the room, his eyes burning with hatred.
"I'm gonna beat that little prick with a 2-4 on a..." he began.
"Go to bed!!" yelled Sam as she pulled back the covers and pointed toward the opposite side of the bed.
"Yes ma'am." said Hoser as he reached for another beer in the mini bar.
"And no more beer! You've had enough to drink tonight! Put it back!" said Sam as she glowered at Hoser.
"OK." said Hoser as he pulled his hand from the mini bar and shuffled his way toward the bed, his face sad, like a puppy who was just yelled at for trying to play.
Hoser crawled into bed and began to settle down for the night.
"Holy shit eh! I got a bandage on my head!" yelled Hoser as he put his head on the pillow.
"Go to sleep! Jackass!" yelled Sam as she turned out the light.
From the darkness came a sharp sound.
PSSHHHT!
"What was that!?" asked Sam.
"Ahhhh.... I was just saying.... psssst.... why do I have a bandage on my head?" said Hoser as he tried to take a drink of his beer.
The full can of beer hit the wall with a heavy crash as Sam knocked the can from this hand.
"If I hear one more sound from you tonight, I'm going to beat you with something, and it will be harder than a damn camera. Now go to sleep!" said Sam as she lid down in bed next to Hoser and pulled the covers up around her.
"Ahhhh, come on now." whispered Hoser as he turned over to face Sam.
The last sound to be heard from Hoser's room was a slap...
"What is this on my head eh?" asked The Canadian Icon as his hand probed the bandage wrapped around his forehead.
"That's a bandage honey. Don't you remember? That little crack head beat you with a camera earlier tonight." said Sam as she lit a cigarette and passed it to Hoser.
"Oh yeah! I remember... Beany hit me with that camera after I beat Nathan... I did win the match right?" said Hoser as he took a drag from his cigarette.
"Yeah, you won. But it's all part of the show right? I mean, wrestling is fake... isn't it?" asked Sam as she lit her own cigarette.
"No, you got wrestling confused with boxing eh. And I think that UFC stuff is fake too." said Hoser as he finished his drink.
The empty glass made a hollow "thud" as Hoser slammed it down on the table and reached for the bottle of Jack Daniel's. He looked at the bottle as a child would eye a bag of candy. A smile crept across his face as he removed the cap from the bottle. He closed his eyes for a moment as he passed the bottle under his nose, savoring the smell of the alcohol. He poured himself another drink and put the cap back on the bottle.
Sam spit a mouthful of her drink across the floor "You mean that was real?! Jesus Christ! You could have been killed! Why would you get involved in that?!"
"Get involved in what eh?" asked Hoser as he reached up to scratch his head.
"Take off eh! I got a bandage on my head! Where did that come from!?" yelled Hoser as he realized again that his head was wrapped in a large white bandage.
"Do you have brain damage or something? The paramedics wrapped your head in a bandage to stop the bleeding after that little guy hit you with his camera." said Sam as she rolled her eyes at Hoser.
"You mean Burny? That little prick that's always sticking out of Nathan Benjamin's ass? Why would he hit me with a camera eh?" asked Hoser, having completely forgotten what he was told 5 seconds ago.
"Because you beat Nathan, and they are obviously sore losers! Jesus! What's wrong with you? Don't you remember anything?" asked Sam, her voice betraying the fact that she was beginning to worry about Hoser's loss of memory.
Hoser looked at the ceiling for a minute, his mouth hanging open, as if he was waiting for the tiles to tell him the answer to Sam's question. He looked at Sam, his eyes wide, as if he had remembered something important. He started to say "yes", but stopped mid word to look at the corner of the room.
"No." said Hoser as he hung his head in defeat. "I need another drink."
The Canadian Icon put down his glass and reached for the bottle of Jack. He was just about to pour himself another drink when he realized his glass was still full. He looked around for a moment, trying to find another glass. Unable to find one, he shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from the bottle. Sam shook her head in disbelief. She really didn't know if he had suffered brain damage or if he was just really drunk.
"I think you should go to the hospital and get checked out. You took a couple hard shots to the head tonight." said Sam as she put her drink down on the table.
"I gotta take a leak eh." said Hoser as he stood up from the table and walked across the small hotel room toward the bathroom.
"You don't have to tell me every time Hoser. That's kind of rude actually. You could just excuse yourself for a moment." said Sam as she wrinkled her nose at the thought of someone urinating.
"Sorry eh. Excuse me for a moment, I have to shake hands with an old friend of mine, who I would like to introduce you to after the show tonight eh." said Hoser as he entered the bathroom.
"The show was over hours ago! I think you've had enough to drink, this is getting ridiculous, I'm cutting you off for tonight!" yelled Sam as she took the bottle of Jack from the table and stashed it in the small night table next to the bed.
"What do you mean the show is over?!" yelled Hoser as he finished up in the bathroom and began to wash his hands.
"Holy shit! Take off eh!" yelled The Canadian Icon as he looked in the mirror over the sink.
"I got a bandage on my head eh!" said Hoser as he ran from the bathroom, his eyes wide, and water dripping from his hands.
Sam just shook her head and looked at Hoser with a frown. She was getting tired of reminding him why his head was bandaged.
"I can't wrestle tonight with a bandage on my head eh!" said Hoser as he reached into the mini bar and grabbed a cold beer.
"I can't believe you are the president of a wrestling promotion. God! I told you, the match is over, you won, and you have a bandage on your head because you were beaten with a camera after the match! Fuck!" yelled Sam.
"Who beat me with a camera eh?" asked Hoser as he took a drink of his beer.
"That little weirdo who follows Nathan around all the time! Now go to bed for fuck sakes! Maybe you'll remember in the morning when you're sober." said Sam as she lit another cigarette.
"You mean Barney attacked me after the match? That sneaky little bastard! I'm gonna stick that camera up his ass!" yelled Hoser as he looked to the corner of the room, his eyes burning with hatred.
"I'm gonna beat that little prick with a 2-4 on a..." he began.
"Go to bed!!" yelled Sam as she pulled back the covers and pointed toward the opposite side of the bed.
"Yes ma'am." said Hoser as he reached for another beer in the mini bar.
"And no more beer! You've had enough to drink tonight! Put it back!" said Sam as she glowered at Hoser.
"OK." said Hoser as he pulled his hand from the mini bar and shuffled his way toward the bed, his face sad, like a puppy who was just yelled at for trying to play.
Hoser crawled into bed and began to settle down for the night.
"Holy shit eh! I got a bandage on my head!" yelled Hoser as he put his head on the pillow.
"Go to sleep! Jackass!" yelled Sam as she turned out the light.
From the darkness came a sharp sound.
PSSHHHT!
"What was that!?" asked Sam.
"Ahhhh.... I was just saying.... psssst.... why do I have a bandage on my head?" said Hoser as he tried to take a drink of his beer.
The full can of beer hit the wall with a heavy crash as Sam knocked the can from this hand.
"If I hear one more sound from you tonight, I'm going to beat you with something, and it will be harder than a damn camera. Now go to sleep!" said Sam as she lid down in bed next to Hoser and pulled the covers up around her.
"Ahhhh, come on now." whispered Hoser as he turned over to face Sam.
The last sound to be heard from Hoser's room was a slap...
