Post by "The Reaper" Marcus Ash on Jul 30, 2007 22:57:05 GMT -5
Here are clips from the very first Countdown to Extinction match; taken from Colin's, LWA Return to Glory, tribute to the SWWF ppv. It's all that remains of the match.
--- CUT ---
FM: Well Kyrosin and T-Rex are circling each other in the ring now, T-rex fakes a charge. Now what the hell is he doing? He is turning around showing off his muscles to the crowd!
Reaper: LORD! I came prepared this time....
Reaper reaches down beneath the commentators desk and pulls up a huge megaphone.
Reaper:(megaphone) Ok bonehead, if you don't turn around and fight this match I am going to shoot you.
T-Rex looks down on Reaper with a thumbs up but Kryosin quickly moves in with a dropkick, knocking the giant to the mat.
Reaper:(megaphone) See Smiley, that's what happens when you screw around.
--- CUT ---
FM: Well T-Rex and PDP have grabbed Kryosin and whip him into the ropes. Kryosin comes in and is caught by both men who lift him high into the air and let him drop. Now they go towards Prime. Hooters Galore steps onto the apron. Wait, she is holding up her armpit. Oh no, everyone turn away! My god...They are rubbing Primes face in that arm pit. The humanity! I need a drink!!!
--- CUT ---
FM: Bruiser and Prime are locked up now. Prime goes for another suplex, his back goes out and Bruiser comes crashing down on top of him. Bruiser gets up just in time to see Kryosin catapulting off the top rope nailing him with a missile dropkick. Philipae is laying on his gut as Hoser is nailing him with cross face punches.
Cid: If you let the spirit of the 'Giant Cow' show you the way you wouldn't need silly things like money.
Reaper: If you don't stop talking about that 'Giant Cow' crap, you'll end up like one! Roasting on the BBQ.
--- CUT ---
FM: MY GOD!!! IT'S SENTINEL!
Reaper: That's not Sentinel.
FM: Of course it is.
Reaper: No it isn't. I know this guy.
Cid: It has to be Sentinel, he has his music, his clothes, it's the only possible explanation.
Reaper: Shut up retard. If you guys can remember the very first "Dance With The Reaper" match, it was Sentinel vs A fake Sentinel. Well that my friend is the fake Sentinel.
FM: Well this fake Sentinel and Shinobi 2 have both lept on Gaines and Bruiser. Hoser rushes to the outside and grabs Viper, throwing him into the ring. Scar pitches into Hoser but he nails him with a "Fatal Beating". PDP is out on the floor below. And that fat clown is still sitting in the corner. T-Rex runs into Philipae with a driving knee. Philipae looks pissed now. He climbs to his feet and start nailing T-Rex. Wait, Philipae just picked up T-Rex, he is heading for the second rope..."Main Event" by Philipae! T-Rex is out of it in the center of the ring.
Cid: AH HA! The power of the 'Giant Cow' has returned.
--- CUT ---
FM: Well Bruiser is back to his feet. Gaines and PDP have knuckled up and are trading blows. Philipae and the Firkn Scot are running rampant in the center of the ring. T-Rex and Paco are going at it. Wait a sec, T-Rex just powerbombed Paco to the outside, as quick as that. Wait, here comes Bruiser, Bruiser just knocked T-Rex to the outside. T-Rex has been eliminated and so has Paco. T-Rex has been in this since the beginning and he looks pissed. Bruiser has just give him the finger.
--- CUT ---
FM: Enigma comes off with a tornado DDT! No!!! Paco catches him and side slams him. Now, he holds Enigma's legs apart and stomps square in the mommy daddy button. What a dirty, dirty little Mexican.
JD: You've been talking to Cory Honkonen, haven't you? Well the "little" Mexican whips Enigma into the ropes and gorilla press slams him to the outside. Enigma is trying to get his bearings outside the ring and Paco gets a full head of steam and jumps clean over the ropes to hit Enigma with a flying body press!
FM: Good God!!! There's no way anyone could get up after that! Enigma's career is over, he may never wrestle again. Oh, never mind he's up and climbing back into the ring.
--- CUT ---
Voice: Get the hell out here you're on...five minutes ago!!!
The Lonegunman gets up and walks to the door. He nimbly jumps two inches to the left when the door is kicked in by the impatient security guards who were standing outside the locker room. There are four guards and he steps in between them. Before leaving he takes off his trenchcoat and tosses it to one of the guards who puts it over his shoulder. Now, as he makes his way through the backstage area a white patch can be seen on his arm, part of it is covered by the sleeve of his shirt. Just before stepping through the entranceway he takes off his shirt. He steps through the entrance ramp to Goldberg's theme music. The audience collectively laughs and cheers. He reaches over and rips the patch off his arm in a very embellished fashion and he sounds a war cry as he does. He steps onto the ramp and is sprayed with sparks from all sides as the crowd begins chanting "Gun...man, Gun...man". He walks down to the ring slowly and deliberately. Bruiser is psyched up and ready to go. The Lonegunman steps through the ropes and Bruiser charges him. He jumps sideways and when Bruiser turns around the Lonegunman spears him sending him down to the mat. He must have been surprised by that, because even though he doesn't seem hurt he is mouthing something to himself, something like, "What the f*ck!?" The Lonegunman get's up on the second rope in the opposite corner and faces the crowd.
Gunman: (shouting at the top of his lungs) Fear the SPEAR!!!
He gets up and faces Bruiser from across the ring as the crowd chants "Fear the spear..."
--- CUT ---
JD: Well, Philipae is taking no chances, as he grabs Hoser and hoists him over his shoulder and Philipae is now heading for the corner. This could mean only one thing...
FM: Philipae is gong to prove he's worthy of the main event at the PPV, with a "Main Event" on Hoser!
JD: Bad News has PDP while Philipae begins his slow ascent of the turnbuckle. Bad News now going into his jeans and he pulls out a pair ofscissors. He's got that look in his eyes!!! Bad News begins cutting the leg of his jeans...there's the "Bone Saw"!!! Boris is admonishing Bad News, now Boris is trying to physically move Bad News away from PDP. MY LORD, NO!!!
FM: HA-HA! Bad News just blasted Boris over the head with those scissors! Philipae is on the second turnbuckle with Hoser propped on his shoulder..."Main Event" powerslam!!! That's it! Philipae has Hoser for the cover...1...2...3...4....5. Why isn't Boris counting? What the hell...
JD: Boris is calling for the bell!
--- CUT ---
"Minus Human" by Metallica begins to play as the arena is plunged into darkness. Then there is an explosion of what appears to be pyros. However, following the explosion there is a horrible cry from the ramp. With the lights down, everyone can see a figure caught on fire, surrounded in a ring of flame. The fire catches quickly and brightly and soon there is nothing but one massive of pyre. The lights come on and an emergency crew is out with extinguishers.
JD: MY GOD!!! What has happened here!? Jackal has come out to his introduction, only to be caught on fire by an accident! The man is burning alive as we speak!!!
FM: I don't think this was an accident...its a prophecy coming true! Jackal predicted an apocolypse, and now he's suffering it. Man, that guy burns better that Havok!
JD: Freddy, how can you be so inhumane at a time like this!? It seems like the emergency crew has gotten the flame and smoke under control...but where is Jackal? Jackal is nowhere to been seen.
--- CUT ---
FM: Wait! Philipae is sitting on the apron, he didn't reach the floor! PHILIPAE WINS!!!
"Master of Puppets" hits the speakers as Cid leaps out of his seat and joins Philipae on the apron. From the entrance curtain comes a hoard of clowns, the mimes, and Avok, all bringing items of candy or chocolate. Cid and Philipae step back into the ring as the crowd goes absolutely nuts. Reaper begins banging his head on the table over and over. Philipae picks up Cid and holds him high in the air as a mass of red and black balloons come screaming from the ceiling.
FM: MY GOD! WHAT ELSE CAN HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT!!!
--- CUT ---
FM: Well Kyrosin and T-Rex are circling each other in the ring now, T-rex fakes a charge. Now what the hell is he doing? He is turning around showing off his muscles to the crowd!
Reaper: LORD! I came prepared this time....
Reaper reaches down beneath the commentators desk and pulls up a huge megaphone.
Reaper:(megaphone) Ok bonehead, if you don't turn around and fight this match I am going to shoot you.
T-Rex looks down on Reaper with a thumbs up but Kryosin quickly moves in with a dropkick, knocking the giant to the mat.
Reaper:(megaphone) See Smiley, that's what happens when you screw around.
--- CUT ---
FM: Well T-Rex and PDP have grabbed Kryosin and whip him into the ropes. Kryosin comes in and is caught by both men who lift him high into the air and let him drop. Now they go towards Prime. Hooters Galore steps onto the apron. Wait, she is holding up her armpit. Oh no, everyone turn away! My god...They are rubbing Primes face in that arm pit. The humanity! I need a drink!!!
--- CUT ---
FM: Bruiser and Prime are locked up now. Prime goes for another suplex, his back goes out and Bruiser comes crashing down on top of him. Bruiser gets up just in time to see Kryosin catapulting off the top rope nailing him with a missile dropkick. Philipae is laying on his gut as Hoser is nailing him with cross face punches.
Cid: If you let the spirit of the 'Giant Cow' show you the way you wouldn't need silly things like money.
Reaper: If you don't stop talking about that 'Giant Cow' crap, you'll end up like one! Roasting on the BBQ.
--- CUT ---
FM: MY GOD!!! IT'S SENTINEL!
Reaper: That's not Sentinel.
FM: Of course it is.
Reaper: No it isn't. I know this guy.
Cid: It has to be Sentinel, he has his music, his clothes, it's the only possible explanation.
Reaper: Shut up retard. If you guys can remember the very first "Dance With The Reaper" match, it was Sentinel vs A fake Sentinel. Well that my friend is the fake Sentinel.
FM: Well this fake Sentinel and Shinobi 2 have both lept on Gaines and Bruiser. Hoser rushes to the outside and grabs Viper, throwing him into the ring. Scar pitches into Hoser but he nails him with a "Fatal Beating". PDP is out on the floor below. And that fat clown is still sitting in the corner. T-Rex runs into Philipae with a driving knee. Philipae looks pissed now. He climbs to his feet and start nailing T-Rex. Wait, Philipae just picked up T-Rex, he is heading for the second rope..."Main Event" by Philipae! T-Rex is out of it in the center of the ring.
Cid: AH HA! The power of the 'Giant Cow' has returned.
--- CUT ---
FM: Well Bruiser is back to his feet. Gaines and PDP have knuckled up and are trading blows. Philipae and the Firkn Scot are running rampant in the center of the ring. T-Rex and Paco are going at it. Wait a sec, T-Rex just powerbombed Paco to the outside, as quick as that. Wait, here comes Bruiser, Bruiser just knocked T-Rex to the outside. T-Rex has been eliminated and so has Paco. T-Rex has been in this since the beginning and he looks pissed. Bruiser has just give him the finger.
--- CUT ---
FM: Enigma comes off with a tornado DDT! No!!! Paco catches him and side slams him. Now, he holds Enigma's legs apart and stomps square in the mommy daddy button. What a dirty, dirty little Mexican.
JD: You've been talking to Cory Honkonen, haven't you? Well the "little" Mexican whips Enigma into the ropes and gorilla press slams him to the outside. Enigma is trying to get his bearings outside the ring and Paco gets a full head of steam and jumps clean over the ropes to hit Enigma with a flying body press!
FM: Good God!!! There's no way anyone could get up after that! Enigma's career is over, he may never wrestle again. Oh, never mind he's up and climbing back into the ring.
--- CUT ---
Voice: Get the hell out here you're on...five minutes ago!!!
The Lonegunman gets up and walks to the door. He nimbly jumps two inches to the left when the door is kicked in by the impatient security guards who were standing outside the locker room. There are four guards and he steps in between them. Before leaving he takes off his trenchcoat and tosses it to one of the guards who puts it over his shoulder. Now, as he makes his way through the backstage area a white patch can be seen on his arm, part of it is covered by the sleeve of his shirt. Just before stepping through the entranceway he takes off his shirt. He steps through the entrance ramp to Goldberg's theme music. The audience collectively laughs and cheers. He reaches over and rips the patch off his arm in a very embellished fashion and he sounds a war cry as he does. He steps onto the ramp and is sprayed with sparks from all sides as the crowd begins chanting "Gun...man, Gun...man". He walks down to the ring slowly and deliberately. Bruiser is psyched up and ready to go. The Lonegunman steps through the ropes and Bruiser charges him. He jumps sideways and when Bruiser turns around the Lonegunman spears him sending him down to the mat. He must have been surprised by that, because even though he doesn't seem hurt he is mouthing something to himself, something like, "What the f*ck!?" The Lonegunman get's up on the second rope in the opposite corner and faces the crowd.
Gunman: (shouting at the top of his lungs) Fear the SPEAR!!!
He gets up and faces Bruiser from across the ring as the crowd chants "Fear the spear..."
--- CUT ---
JD: Well, Philipae is taking no chances, as he grabs Hoser and hoists him over his shoulder and Philipae is now heading for the corner. This could mean only one thing...
FM: Philipae is gong to prove he's worthy of the main event at the PPV, with a "Main Event" on Hoser!
JD: Bad News has PDP while Philipae begins his slow ascent of the turnbuckle. Bad News now going into his jeans and he pulls out a pair ofscissors. He's got that look in his eyes!!! Bad News begins cutting the leg of his jeans...there's the "Bone Saw"!!! Boris is admonishing Bad News, now Boris is trying to physically move Bad News away from PDP. MY LORD, NO!!!
FM: HA-HA! Bad News just blasted Boris over the head with those scissors! Philipae is on the second turnbuckle with Hoser propped on his shoulder..."Main Event" powerslam!!! That's it! Philipae has Hoser for the cover...1...2...3...4....5. Why isn't Boris counting? What the hell...
JD: Boris is calling for the bell!
--- CUT ---
"Minus Human" by Metallica begins to play as the arena is plunged into darkness. Then there is an explosion of what appears to be pyros. However, following the explosion there is a horrible cry from the ramp. With the lights down, everyone can see a figure caught on fire, surrounded in a ring of flame. The fire catches quickly and brightly and soon there is nothing but one massive of pyre. The lights come on and an emergency crew is out with extinguishers.
JD: MY GOD!!! What has happened here!? Jackal has come out to his introduction, only to be caught on fire by an accident! The man is burning alive as we speak!!!
FM: I don't think this was an accident...its a prophecy coming true! Jackal predicted an apocolypse, and now he's suffering it. Man, that guy burns better that Havok!
JD: Freddy, how can you be so inhumane at a time like this!? It seems like the emergency crew has gotten the flame and smoke under control...but where is Jackal? Jackal is nowhere to been seen.
--- CUT ---
FM: Wait! Philipae is sitting on the apron, he didn't reach the floor! PHILIPAE WINS!!!
"Master of Puppets" hits the speakers as Cid leaps out of his seat and joins Philipae on the apron. From the entrance curtain comes a hoard of clowns, the mimes, and Avok, all bringing items of candy or chocolate. Cid and Philipae step back into the ring as the crowd goes absolutely nuts. Reaper begins banging his head on the table over and over. Philipae picks up Cid and holds him high in the air as a mass of red and black balloons come screaming from the ceiling.
FM: MY GOD! WHAT ELSE CAN HAPPEN HERE TONIGHT!!!
